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What A Notebook Taught Me About Life...


Twelve years and 2 months ago, I was getting on a plane heading for Haiti…my new home. I never imagined the journey that God would lead me on, the heartache I would experience, the miracles I would witness, the lives that would be changed, the lessons I would learn, and the contentment I would have in knowing I was exactly where God wanted me to be. 

Sometimes at the end of the day, whether I am in Haiti or on vacation in the States, I sit in silence reflecting on my life.  I've learned to really appreciate those moments.  Living in a home full of anywhere from 15-40 boys over the years might have something to do with that!  But many times during these moments, the silence speaks volumes. It is not a silence in the sense of quiet or a noise-less environment, but a silence that whispers “Grateful”.  If I could think of one word that explains how I feel most of the time, that is the word….simply Grateful.

Yes, I am grateful because I have a family, incredible friends, purpose, children, a bed, food, clothes, and the list goes on.  But I am grateful because I am so humbled that I serve a God that sees me in my present condition and He accepts me. He accepts me even though my thoughts aren’t always geared towards Him. He accepts me even though my Bible is not as worn as I would like it to be. He accepts me even though I continue to make the same mistakes. He accepts me even though I sometimes compare myself to others. He accepts me even though I sometimes want to be served instead of serve.  He accepts me even though I don’t always choose Him.  

He always chooses me.  He always has and I know that He always will…

Because of the above, I want to love people the way that Jesus loves them. I want to use every single opportunity I have to encourage someone. 

EVERY. SINGLE. OPPORTUNITY. 

I want to be able to look at someone and see past his or her physical appearance so I can see his or her heart.  I want to be used to bring healing to someone’s suffering.  I guess what I am trying to tell myself is that I want to be like Jesus.  It sounds so cliché, but the truth is I am sitting here crying ~ crying hard ~ because I am so grateful that although I am far from being like Him, He is still so near.

It is easy to underestimate the power of encouragement and the gift of a kind act.  If we truly knew the impact those two things had on someone, I believe it would radically transform the way we live.  About one month ago, I had a conversation with one of our older boys that deeply affected me. He just turned 19 years old, but he was six when I met him in Haiti on my first trip.  He grabbed my heart and was the vessel God used to lead me to make the decision to move to Haiti six months after that trip. Fast-forward to almost 13 years later and he is a tall, handsome, young man who has given his heart to the Lord. 

This past year, God has put him on my heart so many times and I have tried to be intentional in looking for ways to encourage him. Four weeks ago, I was about to get in my taxi to head to the airport to catch a flight to the States for my vacation. He was waiting by my taxi, so I stopped to say bye to him.  I told him how I was proud of him and would miss him. Then he said, “Mommy Karris, I have noticed in the past year that you have been so encouraging to me. I write down everything you have said to me.”  I wanted to make sure I heard correctly, so I asked, “Really? You mean you write down everything?” And he said, “Yes, I have a notebook where I write it down, because I don’t want to forget what you have told me.” 

I gave him a hug and said that really means a lot and thanked him for sharing.  As I got into the taxi, I was hit with an overwhelming wave of realizing what had just happened.  Here is a boy who was the one God used to bring me to Haiti, who lost his mother at an early age, who never knew his father, and who is the first one in his family to choose to follow Jesus instead of witchcraft.  This same boy is also one that writes down every single encouraging thing I have said to him lately…

Why am I telling this story? 

Not because I am some great encouraging person, because honestly I missed the mark hundreds of times with this same boy for years.  I am telling it because we grossly underestimate the power of our words and actions.  We walk by people everyday and do just that…walk by them.  If every single person kept a notebook and wrote what you and I said/did at the end of the day, I wonder if we would live our lives differently...

We are all called to something. I just happened to be called to Haiti and work with children.  You might be called to be an athlete...or a musician…or in retail…or a student…or a stay-at-home mom…or a businessman…or in the fashion industry…or in the entertainment industry...or maybe you are still searching.  No calling is more important then the other. Wherever you are called, there are hurting people.  I want to be the one that God uses to bring healing, joy, purpose, and encouragement into someone’s life...  

I want to live my life in such a way that at the end of the day, people’s notebooks are filled and because of that, they experience Jesus in a way they never knew before ~ my prayer is that you feel the same way…

Grateful,

Karris



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