"Lessons From Me" (until I think of a new clever title)

Twelve years and 2 months ago, I was getting on a plane heading for Haiti…my new home. I never imagined the journey that God would lead me on, the heartache I would experience, the miracles I would witness, the lives that would be changed, the lessons I would learn, and the contentment I would have in knowing I was exactly where God wanted me to be.   Sometimes at the end of the day, whether I am in Haiti or on vacation in the States, I sit in silence reflecting on my life.   I've learned to really appreciate those moments.  Living in a home full of anywhere from 15-40 boys over the years might have something to do with that!  But m any times during these moments, the silence speaks volumes. It is not a silence in the sense of quiet or a noise-less environment, but a silence that whispers “Grateful”.   If I could think of one word that explains how I feel most of the time, that is the word….simply Grateful. Yes, I am grateful because I have a f...

So, it is 2 a.m. and I am in Haiti, still awake, wide-awake, thanks to jet lag from getting in from Los Angeles.   Oh, and I am getting attacked by bugs in my room.   The kinds that shoot from the light on the ceiling fan and slap you in the face, or leg, or arm.   So, there’s that. On another note, I am drawn to write a blog on something that I know the Lord has wanted me to write about for a while.   Several times in the past year, I have sat at my computer multiple times. I would type, then erase, type then erase, and so on, but it just didn’t feel like the words were coming out the right way and it just wasn't the right time.   Tonight feels different.   Usually most of my blog posts are about stories of my life in Haiti. This one is not…it is more personal...it is one that I have been hesitant to write about for a few reasons.  It is about...drum roll..."singleness".    So, to all the single ladies (and men), here it goes: ...

There are some things in life that are just hard to do. My prayer over the past 10 years is that my heart would never become hardened by the poverty, overwhelming needs, injustice, and the unnecessary suffering that I see daily watching people have to endure heartbreak because of things that could be prevented, like hunger, malnutrition, AIDS, etc. This morning in the midst of paperwork, construction projects, sponsorship program deadlines, and the other daily issues, I had to tell a sweet 20 something year old mother that her precious 1.5 year old boy died. It is one of those things where I plead with God to not let her feel the weight of her loss. Just a couple of months ago, this mother was homeless, sleeping on the streets, nurturing her little boy to the best of her ability. Then one day she came to our property after hearing about what we do. He was enrolled in our baby rescue program here at Danita's Children . One of our missionaries, Hope, loved him like her own. A family ...

 In September it marked my 10 year anniversary in Haiti.  In October, I turned 32.  As I sit here and think about the past 10 years and the 22 years before that, I just well up with tears.  Tears of gratefulness to the Lord for not giving me what I wanted when I wanted it, but giving me something better.  Ten years is a long time to see a lot happen.  When I first came to Haiti on my first visit almost 11 years ago, Danita had one house and was building a second floor.  We would go up to the 2 nd floor at night, sit on cement blocks, and drink coke from a glass bottle.  The property that now has a school, church, dental clinic, playground, cistern, cafeteria, 8 new homes, and a children’s medical center was just a field with grass and cows and goats when I first came.  The children that were 4, 5, and 6 years old are now 14, 15, and 16 years old and tower over me.  The joy and purpose that our children give me is more than I c...

Throughout the past several weeks, I have sat down at my computer so many times, wanting to write…starting to write…a few sentences come and I press delete. I write a paragraph and then delete it. Other times I just fall asleep out of exhaustion. There are so many times where I want to communicate my heart, share stories, tell about God’s amazing provision, but I want it to be the right words…the right timing…and nothing about me.   I am terrified of writing something that glorifies me and does not bring honor to the Lord.   He must become greater; I must become less seems to be the resounding words in my mind and heart lately.    That is the cry of my heart, but so many times my life does not show it.   To so many people, I or “we” who live down here are heroes or angels, but it is just our calling. It is an odd feeling when you know you are far from perfect...or far from hero or angel status.  I fail at pleasing the Lord. I fail at spending...

Most of my days are spent doing a variety of things, one of them being working in our office, handling receipts, payroll, construction orders, etc.  I LOVE doing it because I get to see the faithfulness of God and see how He provides our every need. I recently celebrated my 9-year anniversary in Haiti and am beyond grateful for the privilege of seeing the ministry grow since almost the beginning. There is something about seeing something when it is beginning to form that develops an intense appreciation when those things begin to expand.   Our Orphan Home for Special Needs Children! Almost 10 years ago, I visited Haiti for the first time.  I was living in New York and felt like a different season was coming. I had no idea where I would be going, but had a strong desire to go to the mission field and to be surrounded by extreme poverty.  After my one-week trip to Haiti, I knew that was where I was supposed to be.   All of that to say, during th...

There are sometimes here in Haiti that I find myself welling up with tears and I cannot hold it in.  I just sit there and tears flow and flow.  Like right now…it is not sadness, but an overwhelming gratefulness to the Lord for who He is in my life and in the lives of those around me.   Everyday there are usually several times where I tear up, but it is usually at night when they come strongly, when all the kids are in bed, lights are out, generator is off, and it is just God and I.  These are the most precious moments and I would not trade anything in the world for them. I look back at my life and am grateful that God knows what is best, He knows that what we might want for our lives is not what He wants or it might not be the right timing.  I think back 15 years ago and how I thought my life would turn out.  I always had a heart for the Lord and a heart to follow Him and do what I was called to do, but the order of how I thought it would happen was a...