Jet lag, bugs, and the single life

So, it is 2 a.m. and I am in Haiti, still awake, wide-awake, thanks to jet lag from getting in from Los Angeles.  Oh, and I am getting attacked by bugs in my room.  The kinds that shoot from the light on the ceiling fan and slap you in the face, or leg, or arm.  So, there’s that.

On another note, I am drawn to write a blog on something that I know the Lord has wanted me to write about for a while. Several times in the past year, I have sat at my computer multiple times. I would type, then erase, type then erase, and so on, but it just didn’t feel like the words were coming out the right way and it just wasn't the right time. Tonight feels different. Usually most of my blog posts are about stories of my life in Haiti. This one is not…it is more personal...it is one that I have been hesitant to write about for a few reasons.  It is about...drum roll..."singleness".  So, to all the single ladies (and men), here it goes:

If you would have told me when I was 12 or 13 or 16 or 20 or even 25, that I would be sitting in a room in Haiti as a 33 year old single girl, I would have said “No way. Not my story.” I was sure that my life would not turn out that way. I knew I would meet an amazing guy at a young age, get married, adopt children, and then be missionaries one day in an orphanage WITH my husband.

I would read books, as a teenager and young adult, on dating and singleness, etc., etc., etc., and can actually show you today where I wrote in the margins things like “Oh, God, please don’t let me be that old!” when referring to ladies sharing their stories of getting married in their late 20s or early 30s.  I was 100% certain that I would NEVER wind up sharing my story one day in a book on singleness.  Fast forward to 2009 and I was asked at the ripe age of 29 to share my story of singleness in a book on singleness.  Annnnnnnnd I did.  Annnnnnnnd it's published.  Gotta love God’s sense of humor.

I mentioned I have been hesitant to write about this subject for a couple of reasons.  One, I'm a pretty private person.  I love talking to someone one on one or through email about certain subjects, but putting it all out there for the world to see is a little bit different.  Second, I think we all want it to look like we are doing fine just the way we are, but we can all admit that just isn’t true some of the time.  Third, I could hear in my mind people saying “Poor thing. She is so desperate for someone that she is writing a blog about it hoping something would happen!” That actually makes me laugh because it is pretty far from the truth. Since being in Haiti, I've seen the Lord provide for me in THE smallest ways, such as random visitors who I don't know showing up with my favorite gum and chocolate, people bringing specific shoes and clothes that I wanted that ONLY God knew about.  I could write a book just sharing about God's provision in my personal life.  All that to say, if He can provide chocolate- covered blueberries and a packet of Orbit gum for me, I am 100% confident He is able to provide a man, too, without a blog post ;) 

My main purpose in writing this is not to bring ANY glory to my story, or myself, but to encourage you (especially the young people) to live a life that is different.  

The truth is that I wanted to write this while I am STILL single.  When there is no one in sight.  No crush.  Nada.  The other truth is that, contrary to popular belief; I am not a nun and have no desire to live a life of celibacy (major props to those that can do that).  I've actually been asked several times in 3 languages, English, Spanish, and Haitian Creole, “So, are you like a nun?”  One time 3 Haitian ladies who knew I was a local missionary were walking behind me, trying to get my attention and kept saying, “Mother Mary!” No joke.  

Now on the serious side, I just want to share my heart with you and if it helps one person, it is worth sharing.  I still have the same desire I had as a little girl. I still want to get married.  I still believe that God is going to bring someone one day (who hopefully likes kids…and a lot of them).  Have I had lonely days and nights? Yep. Have I shed tears? Yep.  Do I wish the 15 boys that I'm raising in my home had a father? Yep. But, I can honestly say with my whole heart that I am so incredibly grateful that His plans are better than my own. 

I moved to Haiti in 2002 as a 21-year-old girl.  As I look back on the past 12 years, I have learned priceless lessons from being single.  I have learned to depend on the Lord for everything, from my finances to my emotional stability to wisdom on how to raise children as a single woman.  At the end of the day, whether it was a good or bad day, I talked to Him.  My relationship with Him grew and I learned that I could trust Him, even though I didn’t understand why my desires weren’t coming to pass. I have learned how to be content while being single.  Have I mastered it? No. Do I still struggle with it? Yes. Am I able to live a life of purpose and still be happy? Absolutely. 

The beauty of that is GRACE.  GRACE has carried me through difficult times. GRACE has taught me that tomorrow is a new day. GRACE has been there for me at my best times and worst times.  It is all GRACE.

I’m not sure who will read this, but if I could get you to understand these things and have your life reflect it, I know this was worth it:

1.) Don't settle

2.) Set yourself apart

3.) Don’t compromise

It is possible to do the above AND stay pure physically AND emotionally AND have a fun and adventurous life filled with purpose.  I know because I have lived it...and still am.

I know we all come from different walks of life and maybe you have made mistakes along the way, but once again, that is where GRACE comes in and new beginnings start.  God is preparing you for someone, and somewhere He is preparing someone for you, and when He writes your story, it will be better than any plans you have made.

One of my favorite poems is one by Robert Frost. Actually, to be honest, it is the ONLY poem I know…I’m not really a poetry kind of girl, except for this one:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less travelled by,

And that has made all the difference.

I encourage you to join me in taking the road less travelled...

Grateful,

Karris


P.S. Thanks for taking the time to read this.  Feel free to share this anywhere and with anyone! And email me if you have questions or need any extra encouragement or prayer :)