Grateful...

There are sometimes here in Haiti that I find myself welling up with tears and I cannot hold it in.  I just sit there and tears flow and flow.  Like right now…it is not sadness, but an overwhelming gratefulness to the Lord for who He is in my life and in the lives of those around me.   Everyday there are usually several times where I tear up, but it is usually at night when they come strongly, when all the kids are in bed, lights are out, generator is off, and it is just God and I.  These are the most precious moments and I would not trade anything in the world for them. I look back at my life and am grateful that God knows what is best, He knows that what we might want for our lives is not what He wants or it might not be the right timing. 

I think back 15 years ago and how I thought my life would turn out.  I always had a heart for the Lord and a heart to follow Him and do what I was called to do, but the order of how I thought it would happen was a little off.  I was certain I would graduate high school, go to a great college, meet the man of my dreams, fall in love, get married, have children, and then one day go into missions with my family.   Well, I have been on the 13-year degree plan but will graduate this year with a Bachelor’s degree.  God has allowed me the privilege of helping to raise almost 100 children with some incredible women here on the mission field…the other part of my plan…well, that is another post that will be dedicated to all the single ladies out there :)  I will say that God has proven to be MUCH more than a provider, a comfort,  a friend, and a rock in my life.  

When I was about to graduate high school, God slowly began to show me that my plans were not going to turn out exactly how I wanted them to.  To make a long story short, I never turned in my enrollment form at UT-Knoxville or the other schools I wanted to attend.  I obeyed God even though it hurt and stayed home the first year after high school working and attending college at night, then moved to New York when I was 18 years old and worked in the inner city for 3 years.  Then I met Danita and went to Haiti for a 1 week mission trip in February of 2002.  I moved to Haiti 6 months later in September of 2002 and I never left.  I can’t explain how much I love it here. It is not a love as in everything is comfortable or easy but a love that goes way beyond anything I have experienced.  I am grateful that God called me here in the beginning stages of the ministry because I appreciate every building, every donation, every donor, every sacrifice Danita made and makes, and every child in a deeper way.  To get a better glimpse of Danita's story and mine, please look at the short video below.

                                                         Click here to watch "Our Story"

The first child that I remember when I visited in February of 2002 is Robenson.  He was the first to greet our group at the orphanage and helped bring my suitcases inside.  He was 8 years old when he greeted me at the door for the first time.  Three years ago, Robenson almost died from a rare illness, but lived…thanks to the prayers of thousands around the world.  Robenson is now 17 years old and I am so proud of the young man he has become.  A couple of weeks ago, I pulled him aside and began to tell him how proud I am of him and could not get through it because tears were streaming down my face.  The little 8 year old boy who was the 1^st face I remember from Haiti has turned into the man of our house who makes us proud, along with all the other ones God has given us....

Robenson and I (Easter of 2011)...he really is taller...I have 4 inch heels on

I am far from being where I want to be in my relationship with God.  Far from being the woman I want to be. Far from being the “mami” I want to be. Far from being the Christian I want to be.  Far from being the sister and daughter I want to be.  Far from being a hero. But, this is the reason why tears stream down my face, because no matter how far I am, He is close. He is close to the broken hearted. He is close to the suffering. He is close to the orphan. He is close to the widow. He is close to the one that has chosen to be far from Him. 

I don’t know where you are in life right now, but I know that He is calling those that are far to be close.  I don’t understand God, but I do trust Him.  I don’t understand why some people lose children. I don't understand why some children lose parents.  I don’t understand why some children go to bed hungry, night after night after night. I don’t understand why I have a family to go home to and some have never known a family or a home.  I don't understand why I have a nice bed to sleep on and outside our 4 walls, most people are sleeping a dirt or cement floor.  Even though I don't understand, I choose to trust Him. 

All of us have an opportunity every day to change someone’s life and I can promise you it does not take much.  Maybe a phone call.  Maybe a letter in the mail. Maybe a delivery of flowers.  Every one of us suffers in some way, whether people know it or not.  You don’t have to go to Haiti to find someone suffering.  You can go across the street, down the hall from your workplace, or in the chair next to you at church. 

My prayer for you and for me is that we feel God a little closer today and that someone else feels God a little closer because of us….

Grateful,

Karris