Where do I start?

(Written Sunday, November 22, 2009)


It is 2:30 a.m. here in Haiti and I can hear the roosters crowing from my bedroom window.  The roosters here have no concept of time!  I can’t get to sleep, but it is not the roosters’ fault.  Tonight is my first night back in Haiti after being in the States for 5 weeks, so my time schedule is slightly off. 

Wow, I don’t even know where to start, but I will start off by saying that I should have started a blog about 7 years ago, when I first moved to Haiti. The truth is that so much happens in one day that it is difficult to take the time to sit down and write about it.  I am not the type of person that can just sit down and throw something together.  I have to “feel” what I am writing, simply because if I do not, how can I expect someone else to?  So, my dilemma is, “Where do I start from?”  


Do I start from when I was little, dreaming of being a missionary one day?  


Do I start from the memories I have of my mom taking me to visit the poor and suffering as a little girl?  


Do I start from when I moved to New York to work in the inner-city and learned priceless lessons about life?  


Do I start from my first one-week trip to Haiti, almost 8 years ago, when I got on the plane, heading back to the U.S, knowing that I had left my heart in Haiti?  


If I start from there, what stories do I tell?  I could tell the story of Rose-Mika, who came to us when she was 5 years old and weighed 19 pounds.  I could tell the story of Guervens, who came to us this year with the most severe form of sickle-cell anemia (http://www.danitaschildren.org/the-children/guerven-s-story/)  I could tell the story of Lubenson, who was brought to us at 6 months old with an enormous life-threatening tumor.  I could tell the story of Judelka, who was brought to us almost 6 years ago because she had been severely abused in every way by a woman who practiced witchcraft.  Rose-Mika, Guervens, Lubenson, and Judelka are just a handful of the THOUSANDS of stories I can tell of the lives that have been transformed by the love and faithfulness of God.  If you follow this link, you can read the newsletters that tell the stories of the children above (http://www.danitaschildren.org/about-us/newsletters/).

Although I wish I had started to write several years ago, I now feel that it is time to start putting my life into words and pictures and share some of that with you.  My desire is that you would not look to me, but that you would be drawn to the Lord.  I have started to go through my old journals, starting from 1998, and I have been quite amazed to see how God really does give us the desires of our hearts.  It might not be in the exact order that you want them.  In my case, it definitely was not in the exact order!  


Oftentimes when I share with people where I live and what I do, it is almost as if they feel sorry for me or they are just so impressed that I would be willing to “give up” a life in the U.S. to live in Haiti and work with orphans.   I often hear comments such as “I could never do that” or “You are sacrificing so much” or “You have really given up your life”.  I know the comments have good intentions, but the truth is, I have found my life.  I sacrifice nothing compared to what I see on a daily basis.  I wake up in the morning with joy and purpose (after I drink my coffee, of course!).  My heart is with the poor and suffering, not just in Haiti, but also around the world.  You can find all kinds of poverty, whether you live in a hut in Haiti or in a mansion in Beverly Hills.  Poverty can be defined in many ways...lack of material possessions, loneliness, depression, etc., etc., etc.


I do not attempt to understand human suffering and I have dealt with the infamous question, “If God is a God of love, how can He watch people suffer?”  I do not know the answer, but I do know that I can trust Him and I have seen His hand in the lives of those that suffer and it is an incredible honor that He would choose me (and YOU) to help relieve some of that suffering.  

              (Picture of a little blind boy in the village...I'll save his story for another day)

So, as I reflect back on the past 5 weeks of being in the United States, it brings me to tears...the good kind of tears!   I am reminded of the verse, “To whom much is given, much is required.”  I have been given much…family, friends, material possessions, grace, love, mercy, forgiveness, and purpose.   

One day we will all stand before Him and be accountable for our time on this earth... 


I close with that thought...


Karris